Perfect For: Platonic Pals
FRIENDSHIP TEA AT MONTPELIER MANSION
FEB. 15: Food and Dining. Montpelier Mansion, 9650 Muirkirk Rd., Laurel. 1:30 p.m. $25-29. 301-377-7817. pgparks.com. Bring your best friend or sweetheart for tea in Montpelier’s elegant South Wing. In honor of Black History Month, the mansion will feature African-inspired treats. Guests are encouraged to wear African clothing.
Perfect For: Sexy Singles
LOVE SUX PARTY
FEB. 14: Music. Howl at the Moon, 22 Market Pl. 5 p.m.-2 a.m. Free-$10. 410-783-5111. howlatthemoon.com. Come celebrate anti-Valentine’s Day at Howl at the Moon’s Love Sux Party! Go stag or with a group and enjoy drink specials and games with $500 in cash and prizes for the taking. Bring in a mutilated photo of your ex before 10 p.m. for free cover.
Perfect For: First Dates
TO FEB. 9: Theater. Fells Point Corner Theatre, 251 S. Ann St. Thurs.-Sat. 8 p.m., Sun. 2 p.m. $15-20. 410-276-7837. fpct.org. Handsome bachelor Bernard is having the time of his life juggling three gorgeous flight-attendant fiancées. But when the schedules change, all hell breaks loose in his Parisian love nest in this sexy ’60s romp.
Perfect For: The Totally Smitten
JENNIFER BLADES IN MY FUNNY VALENTINE
FEB. 14: Music. Cabaret at Germano’s, 300 S. High St. 7:30 p.m. $15. 410-752-4515. germanospiattini.com/events. Celebrate Valentine’s Day with Jennifer Blades as she sings a cabaret about looking for love, finding love, losing love, confusing love, and loving love with songs by Rodgers and Hart, Sondheim, Gershwin, and others.
Perfect For: The Newly Betrothed
VALENTINE’S DAY CRUISES
FEB. 14-15: Tours. Spirit of Baltimore, 561 Light St. Fri. 7 p.m., Sat. 11:30 a.m. and 7 p.m. $33.95 and up. spiritcruisesbaltimore.com/Baltimore/valentinesday. Set sail for a romantic trip close to home during which you can wine and dine your valentine as the Inner Harbor’s landmarks glide by.
Perfect For: Longtime Loves
MODERN LOVE: STORIES ABOUT 21ST-CENTURY ROMANCE AND RELATIONSHIPS
FEB. 3: Theater. Centerstage, 700 N. Calvert St. 7 p.m. $20. 410-332-0033. stoopstorytelling.com. The Stoop Storytelling Series presents an all-ladies show, with seven female storytellers sharing tales of love and loss. Men can sign up to tell a three-minute story.
Perfect For: Permanent Pairs
SEX AT THE ZOO
FEB. 14: Lectures and Classes. The Maryland Zoo in Baltimore, 1876 Mansion House Dr. 6-9 p.m. $80-130. 410-396-7102. marylandzoo.org. Learn about the birds and the bees—literally!—at this adult-oriented event discussing the mating rituals of the animal kingdom. Enjoy open bar, hors d’oeuvres, desserts, and live jazz.