Rating: 1.5 stars

Paul Blart: Mall Cop would’ve made a nice digital short. The story of an out-of-shape, over zealous mall cop (Kevin James) who takes down a band of criminals, Die-Hard-style has a few laughs. It’s funny when Blart runs after the bad guys and falls over for no apparent reason. It’s funny when he acts like he’s been badly hurt, but it’s just a tiny scratch (which he promptly covers with a Hello Kitty band-aid). It’s really funny when he charges into the bank where the hostages are being held, but first dutifully weaves his way through the bank line barrier posts. And . . . that’s about it.
Instead, they tried to make a whole movie about this guy, figuring that the more pathetic Blart was, the funnier his heroism would be. Bad call.
The first 30 minutes of Paul Blart: Mall Cop are actually painful to sit through. They filled me with existential dread. I don’t think executive producer Adam Sandler and co. were going for existential dread when they created the movie, but maybe that’s where I’m wrong.
How much of a loser is Blart? His ex-wife...

Rating: 3.5 stars

Professional boxing has inspired many great movies. Pro wrestling? Not so much. Until now.
As The Wrestler opens to the strains of blaring ’80s heavy metal, we get a brief overview of the career of Randy “The Ram” Robinson (Mickey Rourke). He was a pumped up pretty boy with flowing bleached blond locks, a signature move (the “Ram Slam,” where he balanced himself on the ropes and body slammed his opponent), an arch rival named The Ayatollah (remember, this was the ’80s), and legions of rabid fans.
Then, the music stops, and dryly across the screen it flashes, “20 Years Later.”
Today, Randy the Ram is a Rocky-style loser, a lovable middle-aged galoot working the semi-pro circuit, having traded in Madison Square Garden for half-empty high school gymnasiums. He’s living in a trailer park and he works at a grocery store during the week, but he lives for those weekend wrestling bouts. He still clings in vain to his Randy the Ram action figure, his Randy the Ram Nintendo game (he plays with a dutiful neighborhood boy who would much rather be playing a combat...

Rating: 2 stars

He lost me with the growl. In Gran Torino, Clint Eastwood plays Walt Kowalski, a recent widower and Korean War Vet who is pissed at the world.  He’s pissed that his neighbors are all Asians and Latinos—“gooks” and “wetbacks” he calls them. He’s pissed that no one buys American anymore. (He worked at the Ford plant for 25 years and keeps his '72 Gran Torino in mint condition.) He’s pissed that kids today have no respect.  He’s pissed that his regular male doctor has been replaced by a young female one. And so on. . .  How do we know Walt is pissed? Because Walt grits his teeth, spits his chaw in disgust, rolls his eyes, and yes, growls.
I sure wish the director had told Clint to dial it back  a little. Oh wait. . .Clint is the director.
Gran Torino is supposed to be cathartic for the viewer: part recipe for social healing, part vigilante justice film. (More than one critic has dubbed it, Dirty Harry: the Later Years.) You see, Walt is no mere angry white guy. He’s an angry white guy with a gun. So when a Hmong gang try to recruit Walt...

After 2007, which was quite simply the best year for movies in recent memory, 2008 almost had to be a letdown. It was, especially for me, since I didn’t jump on the WALL-E or the Rachel Getting Married bandwagon.
That being said, it was a great year for superhero movies, with Iron Man dazzling us with its hip wit and The Dark Knight giving us the late Health Ledger’s villain for the ages.
To me, 2008 brought us only one bona fide masterpiece, and that’s the film at the top of my list, Slumdog Millionaire. Number 2, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, might have been a contender, but the film’s central love story—which should have been its heart and soul—ended up being its weakest link.
Two old pros had strong outings: Ron Howard made his most sophisticated and possibly best film ever in Frost/Nixon (that is, if you don’t...