June, 24th 2008

Hard Times at Douglass High

hardtinmes_pic.jpg The experience of watching Hard Times at Douglass High is akin to that of walking into a very dark room that has a few slivers of sunlight peaking in. The documentary, filmed by Susan and Alan Raymond over the course of one school year in Baltimore and airing this month on HBO, doesn’t really tell you anything you don’t already know about inner city schools or the pressures of No Child Left Behind—it just manages to bring it into sharper focus. So we see students falling asleep in classes or not going to class at all (oddly, they come to school, but loiter in the hallway), being rude to teachers and administrators, fighting with each other in the hall (in one horrific scene, a muscle-bound boy starts beating on five girls who were flirtingly teasing him), and struggling with the most basic of assignments. We see teachers, mostly hard-working and committed, who don’t have text books, who beg their students to show up “just two days in a row,” who bemoan the fact that, on parent/teacher night, so few parents actually arrive. We see administrators forced to make grueling choices—pass kids who really...

11:54 am Comment Count Tags: Television
June, 19th 2008

The Love Guru

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Rating: 1.5 stars

Mike Myers is a funny guy. He made three awesomely funny Austin Powers movies (I’m partial to the second—when Mini Me was introduced and joined Dr. Evil in a rendition of Will Smith’s Just the Two of Us) and had several funny SNL sketches, even if some of his characters (I’m talking to you, Wayne!) went on beyond their expiration date.
The Love Guru, in which Myers plays a would-be Deepok Chopra hired by the owner of a hockey team (Jessica Alba) to help her star player (Romany Malco) get out of his funk, actually has some funny moments. The film starts, for example, with a Morgan Freeman voiceover, only to reveal that it’s just the Love Guru using a Morgan Freeman voiceover machine (hey, where can I get one of those?). Some jokes are at the expense of Myer’s miniature cohort Verne Troyer, here playing the team’s coach. (“I’d like to thank the Academy,” intones the Guru, lifting the little guy like a statue.) But for every funny joke in The Love Guru there are at least 10 stupendously bad ones. I’m talking poo jokes and crotch jokes and jokes about...

6:58 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
June, 19th 2008

Get Smart

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Rating: 2.5 stars

A conspicuously big budget and some game work by the leads elevates Get Smart from utter mediocrity to serviceable entertainment. But still, this update of the popular 60’s series never truly gains its footing. Is it an homage to the show? If so, they should’ve made Maxwell Smart (Steve Carell) more of a bumbling wannabe, as he was on the sitcom. (In this version, he’s more of a brainy nerd who’s good with a gun—he’s like Napoleon Dynamite if those numchuck skills actually came in handy). Is it a spoof of spy films? If so, get in line behind the superior Casino Royale, Austin Powers, Top Secret, et al. Still, the physical comedy can be quite funny—there are two stand-out set pieces (one involving darts in an airplane bathroom stall; the other a dance extravaganza at the home of a Russian warlord) and Anne Hathaway graduates from The Princess Diaries to believable sexpot as Agent 99. Even the Rock—now known exclusively as Dwayne Johnson, la di da—is funny as the alpha male spy who takes Max under his wing....

3:38 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
June, 12th 2008

The Happening

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Rating: 1.5 stars

Oh, the quandary of M Night Shyamalan. On the one hand, you’ve got to really admire a guy who relies on good old-fashioned storytelling and suspense—nary a CGI effect in this guy’s films—to get the job done. On the other hand, enough already.
It’s all been down hill since the ingenious Sixth Sense, a film so intimate, so tightly directed, it made most viewers ignore the painfully obvious (how many times did that damn kid have to tell us that “they don’t always know when they’re dead?”). What followed—Unbreakable—seemed like a sophomore slump. But then there was a junior slump (Signs), a senior slump (The Village), and a post-graduate slump (The Lady in the Water).
Indeed, with The Lady in the Water, it seemed that not just the critics, but the previously on-board movie viewing public were over Shyamalan. He relied on too many trick endings (increasingly easy to figure out), too much dime store mysticism, too many eye-rollingly contrived scenarios. And what’s more, his “legend in his own...

2:33 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
June, 12th 2008

The Incredible Hulk

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Rating: 2.5 stars

I’ll admit that Ang Lee’s Hulk, released in 2003, was a bit of a dud. It was overlong, overwrought, oddly joyless, and featured a drippy Bruce Banner played by Eric Bana. But still, it was, for all intents and purposes, an Incredible Hulk movie. The special effects were pretty cool. The Hulk was ginormous and green and hulky. If you were hooked on the comic book or the gloriously cheesy 70’s series, you would have probably seen it, and while you may have left the theater a bit disappointed, you certainly wouldn’t have thought, “I demand an immediate do over!!”
Apparently, the folks at Universal Pictures felt differently. So, five years later, they are trotting out a new The Incredible Hulk. (Ironically, the hipper title, Hulk, was taken by the first film.) In a surpising move, they went with another atypical action hero as the star—Columbia’s own Edward Norton. It goes without saying that Norton is a far better actor than Bana, but he’s still a less than obvious choice—we tend to associate him with brainy, art house type pictures, not...

2:25 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
June, 6th 2008

You Don't Mess With the Zohan

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Rating: 2 stars

They say most movie pitches can be boiled down to a quick sentence, usually combining two hit movies (it’s Titanic meets Lord of the Rings!) to create some unstoppable box office juggernaut. But lordy, starting with the awkward title (You Don’t Mess with. . . Lindsay Lohan?) and right down to the premise—super hero Israeli counterterrorist fakes his own death so he can fulfill his dream of being a New York hair stylist—I’m not quite sure what Adam Sandler was going for here. Shampoo meets Ishtar? Hard to Kill meets La Cage Aux Folles?
Actually, I can see how a few of the film’s running jokes would work as SNL skits. A disco-loving commando who catches bullets with his teeth and dreams of being a hairdresser? Funny, in starts. A hairdresser who’s stuck in the 80s and thinks the style isn’t complete unless it’s “silky smooth” and feathered? Funny, in dribs and drabs. A would-be lothario hairdresser who styles and beds little old ladies? Actually, kinda gross.
But the problem is, You Don’t Mess With the Zohan...

12:00 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
June, 5th 2008

Kung Fu Panda

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Rating: 3 stars

Art and shameless commerce don’t usually intersect, but they do (sort of) in Kung Fu Panda.  In many ways, the film feels like it was created by some harried Dreamworks exec in a focus group. I can see his notes now . . .
1. Cuddly panda bear: check
2. Kid-fave Jack Black: check
3. Under-achiever makes good: check
4. Kung fu, which kids love? (Note to self: Look up returns on Forbidden Kingdom. Ahhhhh, $21.5 million in its first week): check.
But at the same time, the film has a warmth and a playfulness about it—not to mention some truly beautiful animation—that suggest it was made with great care, even love.
The story focuses on Po (voiced by Jack Black), a portly panda being raised by his noodle maker father, who is a goose. (In one of the film’s clever touches, it’s not clear that Po knows he’s adopted.) Po fantasizes about being a kung fu hero and his dreams are realized when, through a series of comic mishaps, he is taken to be the Dragon Warrior, a mystical, messiah-like figure, meant to conquer the evil...

4:19 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
May, 29th 2008

The Strangers

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Rating: 1.5 stars

I can almost appreciate what the folks behind The Strangers were trying to do: Create a bare bones horror film using nothing more than an unhappy couple (Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman), a big house in the proverbial “middle of  nowhere,” and a group of creepy people wearing masks and sacks over their heads. It’s the film equivalent of a MacGyver trick.
But in order for this premise to fly a few things need to work out.
For one, the film should not resort to the most hackneyed of horror tropes: the sudden hand on the shoulder, the heroine crouching alone in a closet, the inexplicable banging noise, the haunting, scratchy record. (Record players? Really? Had no one lived in this house since 1982?).
Also, if you’re going to go minimalist, at least give us characters we care about, not a couple of beautiful people moping around almost wordlessly. (Does the film actually think it’s an art film? If so, fail.)
Finally, and perhaps most egregiously, the film will need some internal logic. If these terrifying interlopers...

6:06 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
May, 29th 2008

Sex and the City

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Rating: 3.5 stars

Sex and the City ran for six seasons on HBO and, amazingly, it never once jumped the shark. If anything, the final seasons were its strongest—with the show’s addictive blend of fashion, sex, friendship, and clever bon mots honed to near perfection. When the show went off the air in 2004, women around the world mourned—and rumors of a Sex and the City movie immediately surfaced.
Once those rumors became a reality—confirmed by paparazzi photos of our four fashionista galpals filming in New York—anticipation reached a frenzied pitch. I can safely say that no movie that I’ve ever reviewed has been more buzzed over—with more of my friends helpfully “volunteering” to accompany me to my critics’ screening (thanks, girls)—than Sex and the City.
So, does it live up to the hype?
Hell yes.
Sex and the City, the movie, really does feel like a giant, gift-wrapped present (from a high-end Fifth Avenue boutique, naturally) to fans of the show. In many ways, it plays a lot like the TV show, except the fashion has been dialed...

2:34 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
May, 27th 2008

The Way He Was

aleqm5jbceizjl6a7vp8ntey4z1a8hzeka.jpg Although I knew he was sick, so at least it didn’t come as a total shock, I’m tremendously sad about the death of director/actor Sydney Pollack, who succumbed to cancer yesterday at the too-young age of 73. Sydney Pollack has directed two of my all-time favorite films—Tootsie (quite simply, a perfect comedy) and The Way We Were (a flawed, but perfect to me, political romance). And he co-starred in one of my favorite Woody Allen films, Husbands and Wives (he was just brilliant as a man whose mid-life crisis led to a highly inappropriate affair and a bout of hilarious self-loathing). That’s three major film touchstones for me that this man was a part of. He’s best known for his directing—he won the Oscar for Out of Africa. But he was an underrated actor, I think. He was able to play a certain kind of under-represented character—the Jewish alpha male, if you will—and did so in an incredibly earthy, human way (he even managed to ground the loopy Eyes Wide Shut). I felt like I knew him. Or at least, I wished that I...

1:01 pm Comment Count Tags: general film
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