June, 7th 2012

The Intouchables

Intouchables

 

If there’s one thing that the success of the French film The Intouchables proves—and it was something of a sensation in Europe last year—it’s that people like seeing love stories on screen, particularly those where two unlikely people come together and find that, against all odds, they complete each other. The fact that The Intouchables is a platonic love story, about two straight men, is irrelevant to this equation. Indeed, the film it often reminded me most of was—wait for it—Pretty Woman.

Strapping young Driss has arrived at an enormous mansion to apply for the job of caretaker to elegant Philippe, a paralyzed aristocrat. Only, he’s not there for the job, merely for the sign-off on his unemployment sheet, so he can collect his benefits.

But  Philippe sees something in Driss—that first spark of attraction, you might say—and coaxes him back, luring the nearly homeless young man with the prospect of an enormous bedroom, luxurious bath, and Philippe’s pretty assistant (Audrey Fleurot), whom Driss is sweet on.

Philippe likes Driss because of his youthful spirit, his complete lack of sensitivity to Philippe’s affliction (he makes jokes like “How do you know where...

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May, 31st 2012

Snow White and the Huntsman

Charlize Theron

 

Not totally sure I understand where this recent Snow White revival is coming from (in April, we had the diverting Mirror Mirror, with a game Julia Roberts as the evil queen), but to be honest, I’m kinda glad it’s over.

Of course, the fairy tale still resonates, but it has a somewhat awkward message for these modern times, especially when repackaged as a girl power fantasy. No matter how you slice it—and in this film, Snow White (Kristen Stewart) dons chain mail and gives a St Crispin’s Day-style speech before leading her troops into battle—it’s still a movie about a woman who will do anything to stay youthful and beautiful, including kill off all young female comers. In other words, beauty is the most important power, perhaps the only power, a woman can wield. Uh . . .yay?

Anyway, this remix has certain things in common with Mirror Mirror—both films are art directed within an inch of their lives, and both could fill a museum with their beautiful, if somewhat sterile, set pieces—but while Mirror Mirror was campy and winking (Nathan Lane was the Queen’s right hand man—enough said), Snow White and the Huntsman is as dark and serious as a poison apple.

...

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May, 11th 2012

Dark Shadows

 

It's hard to pinpoint the exact moment I fell out of love with Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows. Johnny Depp, of course, makes an excellent Barnabas Collins, the elegant, dandyish, fiercely house-proud 18th century vampire who, after being buried alive for 200 years, returns to his family home, circa 1972. And Burton luxuriates in the period details—the bean bag chairs, the lava lamps, the leisure suits, the inanely chirpy music of the day (“I’m on the Top of the World” et al). There is a fabulous bit where Barnabas lays his head down on a piano in despair, but rather than a gothic organ chord befitting a vampire of his status sounding. . . a tinny synthesizer beat plays instead.

It’s perfect.

But after a while, the film overstays its welcome. Burton, as is so often the case, has created this fabulous, almost fetishistically detailed world and doesn’t know what to do with it. He has a gift for visuals, mood, mimesis—but not necessarily character and story.

After a brief prologue where we learn of Barnabas’s fate—he had the misfortune of not returning the affections of a powerful witch (Eva Green), who killed his dearly beloved and turned him into a vampire—the film starts with that trusty...

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May, 3rd 2012

The Avengers

The Avengers

 

We already know how the Comic-Con set feels about The Avengers: They’re having a total fangasm. (Sample comment on imdb.com: “An Unstoppable Force of Awesomeness! All Hail The New King!”)

But what about the rest of us? You know, those of us who don’t think that “who would win in a fight between Spider Man and Batman?” is one of the great barroom debates of our time?  (It’s obviously Spider Man, though. I mean, duh.) Those of us who don’t get a giddy jolt of adrenaline every time we lay eyes on Thor’s hammer, Iron Man’s power source, or Captain America’s shield.

Will we like The Avengers, too?

Short answer: Hell yeah.

The key, the rub, the secret sauce if you will, is Joss Whedon, a man so good he got me hooked on a TV show about vampires and demons called Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (For more on my Whedon love, check out my review of The Cabin in the Woods).

Whedon’s genius is this: He, himself, is a fanboy, in the truest sense of the word. But he’s also an ironist—so he brings a wink and a sharply honed wit to the...

May, 1st 2012

The MFF: The Most Cinematastic Time of the Year!

 

The excellent Maryland Film Festival runs from May 3-6. Here’s my sneak peek at three of the films.

 

PILGRIM SONG

The hipster primitive movement  finally has a film to call its own. The taciturn James (Timothy Morton, who with his shaggy red beard and sad eyes resembles a young Louis CK) has recently been laid off from his job as a high school music teacher in Louisville, KY. Leaving behind a somewhat disappointed girlfriend (screenwriter Karrie Crouse), he embarks on a journey of self-discovery along the rugged Sheltowee Trace trail. While Pilgrim Song’s extreme naturalism and leisurely pace place it squarely in mumblecore territory, the film’s humanity and unexpected bursts of droll humor make it soar. Things really get interesting when James hitches a ride from an aimless single father (Bryan Marshall)—a sweetheart, if a bit of a mess—and his young son. James thought he would find himself by getting in touch with nature, but it turns out the real...

April, 27th 2012

The Raven

Cusack as Poe

 

At no point during The Raven does Edgar Allan Poe turn to the camera and says, “Poe ahead. Make my day”—but he might as well have.

This movie, set in Baltimore (but filmed, oddly enough, in Budapest and Serbia) is a colossal waste of the inspired casting of John Cusack as Poe and of an intriguing film premise: What were the actual events surrounding Poe’s mysterious final days? (He was found delirious on the streets of Baltimore and died shortly thereafter).

A straight-up biopic, with a little conspiracy-theory mumbo jumbo thrown in, would’ve been grand (and we have a tiny glimpse at what might’ve been, early in the film, when a broke Poe tries smooth talk his way into a free drink at a bar).

Instead, we have that tired chestnut: Serial killer recreates ghoulish scenes from horror writer’s works.

At first, Poe is a suspect, but eventually he’s enlisted to aid the detective (Luke Evans) who is investigating the case. Then, the killer kidnaps Poe’s fiancée—and it’s a battle against the clock for her survival! (Really.)

At one point, Poe actually hops on a horse and gallops after a suspect. (Really, again.) Also, there’s that gun thing. (See above.)

It’s a shame,...

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April, 19th 2012

The Lucky One

The Lucky One

 

 

To a certain kind of filmgoer—okay, a certain kind of female filmgoer—Nicholas Sparks films are cinematic comfort food.

With the exception of The Notebook—which came closest to approximating the rhythms and cadences of an actual movie—the films based on his books are bland, easy to digest, and virtually interchangeable. And what could be more comforting than that?

We have our beautiful boy and girl. We have an appealing setting (a beach house, a resort town, a funky dog kennel in the North Carolina countryside). We have a powerful attraction (rarely made believable by the script—Sparks believes that beautiful people should be together simply because they are beautiful, and who am I to argue?). We have the thing that drives them apart ™ . Then we have a little rush of action/melodrama toward the end. And finally we have our happy ending (or sad mushy ending cause occasionally the thing that drives them apart ™ is leukemia or somethin’). (Sad face.)

The actresses who appear in these films are often music stars trying to show-off their cinematic chops, like Mandy Moore and Miley Cyrus, or on-the-rise ingenues (like Rachel McAdams and Amanda...

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April, 13th 2012

The Cabin in the Woods

 

Much like the film itself, I feel like this review should exist on two levels. If you’re someone who doesn’t keep up with the critical zeitgeist, who doesn’t obsessively check out Rotten Tomatoes or follow, say, @Scott_Tobias on Twitter, I need to make this perfectly clear: The Cabin in the Woods—co-written by Joss Whedon and directed by his longtime collaborator Drew Goddard—is not your run of the mill slasher film. It is exceedingly clever, witty, and self-assured, and I recommend it quite highly.

On the other hand, if you’re a movie geek like me, you’ve probably been reading all the hype about how The Cabin in the Woods is a game-changer, a deconstructionist masterpiece of the highest order, a film that renders all other horror films obsolete. To that I say, check yourself before you wreck yourself.

I should probably make a confession here: I am a serious Joss Whedon fangirl. For those who don’t know, he’s the genius behind Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, and the upcoming The Avengers. And when I say fangirl, I’m not exaggerating. My Buffy DVDs are worn out from overuse and I often quote the joke: "Angel was like methadone for the...

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April, 11th 2012

Bully

 

Here’s the problem with bullying, as Lee Hirsch delineates so brilliantly in his new documentary Bully: Half of the people reading this don’t even think bullying is a problem. “Kids will be kids,” they say. “Kids can be cruel.” “Bullying is a natural part of growing up.”

Parents of bullied kids are likewise unaware. Since the bullied kids are usually embarrassed, they tend not to tell their folks the extent of the torment. And when they do speak up, their ordeal is often trivialized—“smile more,” the parents might say. “Learn to defend yourself,” etc. etc.

School administrators are defensive about the subject, which carries the intimation that they are not protecting their charges. And to avoid potential liability, they want to shift the blame squarely back on the shoulders of the parents.

And so it goes. A perfect storm of inaction—with bullied kids paying the ultimate price.

Are there more teen suicides these days as a result of bullying? I don’t know. I suspect the problem has been under the radar for generations. But not anymore. Bullying is finally getting the attention as a serious social plague that it deserves, largely because of Dan Savage’s galvanizing “It Gets...

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March, 23rd 2012

The Hunger Games

 

I suppose it’s unfair to compare The Hunger Games’s Katniss Everdeen to Twilight’s Bella Swan, but it’s also inevitable. Both are the heroine narrators of a wildly popular teen trilogy. Both are introduced to sinister worlds far away from their families and forced to grow up quickly. Both are involved in a love triangle of sorts. But the similarities end there.

While Bella is awkward and accident prone (vampire Edward is positively charmed by her clumsiness), Katniss is strong of body and mind. While Bella is obsessed with a boy and willing to abandon her family (and her very humanity) to be with him, Katniss is obsessed with taking care of her own family and staying alive.

I’ve complained many times that Bella is not a character I want young girls looking up to. Katniss, on the other hand, is a heroine I would like to babysit America’s collective tween daughter.

The book The Hunger Games—about a ruling class (“the Capitol”) that keeps its commoners in line by mounting an elaborate yearly competition that pits teens against each other in a battle to the death—has become a world-wide phenomenon. I just started reading it a few days ago myself and I can already see...

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