December, 19th 2008

Seven Pounds

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Rating: 1 star

Seven Pounds is a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, cloaked in a really crappy movie.
How best to describe this clunker? Let’s put it this way: Seven Pounds isn’t just bad—it’s historically bad; deserves to be mocked on Mystery Science Theater 3000 bad; “I can’t believe what I just saw” bad. I’ll give my man Will Smith this: He does nothing halfway.
Smith plays Ben Thomas, an extremely bummed out IRS agent. As the film starts, he’s sitting on the edge of a bed in a fleabag motel, calling in a suicide—his own. Then we have flashbacks to happier days when Ben was some sort of aeronautical engineer living in a sweet beachside estate; then fragments of a horrific car crash; then many scenes of Ben being a spectral, stalkerish figure: He harasses a blind telemarketer (Woody Harrelson) to see if he’s a good man; he finds an abused mother of two (Elpidia Carrillo) who needs help getting away from her husband; he shadows a beautiful artist (adorable Rosario Dawson, who deserves better) with a congenital heart defect, and so on. What the heck is happening?...

1:21 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
December, 19th 2008

Yes Man

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Rating: 2 stars

What will Jim Carrey be forced to do next? In Liar, Liar, he played a lawyer who, after being put under a spell, couldn’t tell a lie. In Yes Man, he plays an anti-social loan officer who makes a covenant with a self-help guru to embrace the power of yes. So what will it be? Switch places with his dog? Embrace his inner child? Do everything his Rice Krispies tell him to do? (I shouldn’t give Hollywood any ideas.)
The premise actually works—to a point. Everything that’s good about Yes Man, you’ve already seen in the trailer: It’s funny when Carrey’s Carl says yes to flying lessons, yes to Korean lessons, and even yes to a mail order Iranian bride. And the film’s philosophy of affirmation actually resonates, especially when Carl grudgingly gives a ride to a homeless guy and ends up meeting the girl of his dreams (Zooey Deschanel).
But Yes Man simply isn’t funny enough—several of the bits go on way too long (like the one where Carl tries to save a suicidal man by singing to him) or are simply awkward (like the icky sexual encounter beween Carl...

1:19 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
December, 12th 2008

The Day the Earth Stood Still

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Rating: 2 stars

What possessed Keanu Reeves to accept the role of Klaatu, the alien who arrives with his giant robot buddy on the planet Earth with big plans to save our planet by annihilating its inhabitants? Hasn’t Keanu heard enough times in his career that his acting is flat and robotic? Does he really want to give his critics ammunition by playing a part only a few syllables removed from “Take me to your leaders”? (In this case, he’s referring to the U.N.)
I guess I sort of see why 20th Century Fox decided to remake this classic sci-fi. Back in 1951, Klaatu was intent on saving the earth from the Cold War. Today, he wants to save it from global warming. He’s Al Gore From Another Planet.
But the film’s sensibility still seems rooted in the '50s. It’s a square, slightly wonky movie. Today’s action/sci-fi films are winking, fast-paced adrenaline rushes, a la Transformers or Iron Man. But Keanu’s Klaatu, aided by physicist babe Helen Benson (Jennifer Connolly) and her impossibly adorable step-son Jacob (Jayden...

11:59 am Comment Count Tags: film reviews
December, 11th 2008

Nothing Like the Holidays

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Rating: 2.5 stars

Nothing Like the Holidays delivers on its promise: It’s an overstuffed, warm-hearted holiday movie about a Puerto Rican family, with lots of family melodrama, a few group hugs, a healthy dose of ethnic humor, and not a single untelegraphed moment. Chekhov it ain’t, but it has a certain comfort-food-like appeal (only in this case, the comfort food is plantains and rice).
The always earthily charismatic Alfred Molina plays the patriarch of the Rodriguez family, who are together for Christmas for the first time in years. But will it be their last? Oldest son Mauricio (John Leguizamo) is a distracted Yuppie lawyer with a gringo wife—Jewish, no less!—played by Debra Messing. Daughter Roxanna (Vanessa Ferlito) is an aspiring actress who has been living in Hollywood. (Her family thinks she’s bigtime because she’s done some commercials and a straight-to-DVD movie.) Finally, there’s Jesse (Freddy Rodriguez), just back from Iraq and scarred both physically and emotionally.
Papa Rodrigeuz simply wants his family to enjoy each other, but...

3:52 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
December, 8th 2008

Slumdog Millionaire

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Rating: 4 stars

Believe the hype: Danny Boyle’s rags-to-riches fable about an Indian slumdog (street urchin) who makes a fortune on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire is one of the most captivating, ingenious and heartwarming films you’ll ever see. It mixes the gritty realism of a film like City of Men with a plucky, Dickensian hero who fends off a rogue’s gallery of nefarious influences (the host of the game show, for example, is a deliciously smarmy fellow who secretly resents our hero’s success). Add to that a touching love story, a heartbreaking tale of two brothers moving inexorably in different directions, heaping doses of magic realism, and a Bollywood ending that will have you grinning like a happy fool, it’s a film to savor for years to come.

12:15 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
December, 5th 2008

Cadillac Records

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Rating: 3 stars

Cadillac Records, about the trailblazing black blues musicians of 1950s Chicago and the Jewish white man who supported—and possibly exploited—them, is almost great.
It sure gets the music right—it’ll have you stomping your feet and howling along with the blues and early rock classics.
And it casts some great actors to depict these musical legends. Jeffrey Wright is Muddy Waters, the Mississippi sharecropper whose talent at bedding women was almost as great as talent on the guitar. Mos Def is the cocky, cheeky Chuck Berry, who knew he was the best and watched with bitter cynicism as white boys like the Beach Boys stole his riffs. Beyonce Knowles is Etta James, a junkie torch singer with a daddy complex. And Columbus Short is Little Walter, the gifted harmonica player with a hair-trigger temper.
Adrien Brody plays Leonard Chess, the likeable, self-made record executive who paid his talent in shiny new Cadillacs. But the film is ambivilant about Chess’s true nature. Does he genuinely care for his musicians? Or is he a musical parasite?...

11:20 am Comment Count Tags: film reviews
December, 4th 2008

Milk

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Rating: 3.5 stars

When Harvey Milk (Sean Penn) moved to San Francisco’s Castro district in the early ’70s, he had no desire to become a politician. He had just come out of the closet, had a dishy new boyfriend (James Franco), and was simply content to open a modest camera store and live a quiet life. Politics found him—first when the neighborhood business association refused his membership because he was gay, and later, when his camera shop became an ad hoc gathering place for the neighborhood’s young gay men, many of whom had been kicked out of their own homes.
Milk had an antic charisma, a deeply honed sense of justice, and a way of making all people—gay or straight—feel at ease in his presence. He was also smart enough to recognize the power of numbers. If the gay men organized,  their buying and voting power could not be denied. He would be their organizer.
Gus Van Sant is the perfect man to direct the story of Milk’s ascension. As he proved in such films as Drugstore Cowboy and My Own Private Idaho, he excels at depicting the grungy, makeshift, but vital communities created...

5:51 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
November, 26th 2008

Australia

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Rating: 2 stars

Australia is all mythology, no movie. Its director, the extravagant Australian stylist Baz Luhrman (Moulin Rouge), simply has too many lofty ideas: He wants to make a film that captures the sprawling, rugged landscape and maverick spirit of his homeland. He wants to make a film that condemns the treatment of Australia’s indigenous people, the Aborigines. He wants to make a film that echoes classic American films—westerns for sure, but mostly Gone With the Wind and, curiously, The Wizard of Oz. Indeed, he wants to create nothing less than the Great Australian movie. He might’ve started with a better script.
Almost everything in Australia seems borrowed from other, better, sources, as if Luhrman thinks that presenting cinematic archetypes imbues his film with a kind of timelessness. It just makes his characters clichés.
We’ve got Lady Sarah Ashley (Nicole Kidman), the English aristocrat who arrives in Australia during World War II hoping to convince her husband to sell his cattle ranch. Instead, she finds her...

5:12 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
November, 23rd 2008

Twilight

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Rating: 2.5 stars

The vampire myth is, of course, about sex and death and the forbidden intermingling of the two. Unless, that is, you’re talking about Twilight, a vampire story for tweens, as written by a Mormon, in which case it’s essentially a vampire-as-dreamboat fantasy, with our fanged hero Edward about as dangerous as a kitten. But he is, as the book tells us many, many times, like, totally gorgeous.
So the primary challenge for the talented director Catherine Hardwicke (Thirteen), in adapting the first in this series of much-read and loved and obsessed over teen romances, was finding a cast that satisfied the book’s ardent fans.
She scores, brilliantly I might add, in casting British actor Robert Pattinson as Edward. He is beautiful, in an unearthly sort of way, with an aquiline nose and high cheekbones and a thatch of rustled, Heathcliffian hair. (You don’t see many of his type at the mall.)
Next, she had to find the perfect Bella, the young woman who moves to suburban Washington to live with her police chief dad and...

1:35 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
November, 14th 2008

Quantum of Solace

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Rating: 2.5 stars

I’m beginning to buy into this whole rotating James Bond concept. Two years ago, when they introduced Daniel Craig as the new Bond in Casino Royale, I absolutely loved him. I thought the idea of Bond as a working class tough who secretly held a contempt for the elite was a great new wrinkle on the Bond mythos. And Craig, an excellent actor, with a believable physicality (that torso—yowsa!) and a kind of toughness that could easily melt into a wounded vulnerability, played the part to perfection.
Two films into the Craig-as-Bond era and I’m already kind of over it.
Here’s the deal. In Casino Royale, we had a fabulous contrast between this new, rough-hewn Bond and a glamorous, high stakes setting. So what if our new Bond looked like his tux itched and he seemed more comfortable drinking a beer (as he does in Quantum of Solace) than a martini? He was a glorious bull in a fabulous china shop.
But Quantum of Solace doesn’t...

2:46 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews