March 30th, 2010 - 1:16 pm

The Last Song

I wasn’t available to review The Last Song, so I sent my (imaginary) cousin, 12-year-old Amber Morgan Weiss, to review it:

OMG, you guys! Miley Cyrus is in this movie—or should I  say, Hannah Montana? lol—but she’s not playing a Hannah-Montana type character. She plays Ronnie, this totally angry girl from New York who is visiting her dad in Georgia for the summer. You can totally tell that she’s angry because she wears black combat boots and got arrested for shoplifting once. Plus, she’s, like, so unfairly mean to  her dad (Greg Kinnear), because she blames him for leaving her mom (Kelly Preston). But he just wants her to play classical piano like she used to (when she was less angry!!).

I think I need to clear something up here: Ronnie may seem mean, but she’s not!!! First of all, she totally saves these sea turtles from being eaten by raccoons—so she loves animals and stuff. Plus, she’s actually nice to her kid brother (Bobby Coleman), who always says the funniest, cutest things. It’s almost like he has a script writer, lol.

Ronnie meets this super-mega-turbo hottie named Will (Liam Hemsworth) who never has his shirt on—not that I’m complaining, lol. First, she hates him, for no apparent reason, but then he helps her save the sea turtles so she’s like, okay, you’re cool. But she doesn’t know—SPOILER ALERT! (how’s that, Cousin Max?)—that he’s actually rich, and lives in a big mansion and his parents are totally stuck up and don’t approve of Ronnie. Whatevs.

This movie is based on a book by that guy Nicholas Sparks and he writes the best books that, IMO, are turned into the saddest, most romantic, best movies evah!!

And because it’s based on a Nicholas Sparks book, you know that something really sad is going to happen—and I don’t even want to write about it, because it will just make me cry!! No, Ronnie doesn’t die. (Whoops . . .SPOILER ALERT!) You just have to watch the movie yourself to see if someone dies and see if Ronnie and Will end up together. Oh, and did I tell you that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are totally dating in real life?? I KNOW, right?