July, 10th 2008

Journey to the Center of the Earth

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Rating: 2.5 stars

There was much breathless buzz about Journey to the Center of the Earth being the bestest 3-D movie ever! Indeed, the 3-D effects are pretty eye-popping: Yo-yos spring off the screen at you, dinosaurs slime on you, Brendan Fraser spits on you, etc. It’s all quite vivid. But I’m still not convinced. Generously speaking, the film utilizes true 3-D effects for about 30 of its 90-minute running time. That means you spend a useless hour in those clunky glasses that slightly distort the normal image and give you a headache. (Hey, at least I remembered to wear my contact lenses this time). It just ain’t worth it.
So how’s the rest of the film? It’s pretty standard adventure movie stuff—yet another riff on the Jules Verne classic novel about scientists who fall into a portal into the earth’s core where they discover an alternate universe filled with dinosaurs and luminescent birds and molten hot waterfalls.
In this case, the adventurers are hunky scientist Brendan Fraser (still his own charming brand of macho goofball), his nephew Sean (Josh Hutcherson, a...

3:44 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
July, 10th 2008

Meet Dave

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Rating: 2 stars

Is it possible that Eddie Murphy just has bad taste? I mean, the man has prodigious gifts—he’s arguably the greatest comic actor of his generation—and yet his recent films have been stinkers. Okay, there have been a few exceptions—Dreamgirls, obviously, plus Shrek and the Nutty Professor series—but the duds just keep on coming: The Adventures of Pluto Nash, I Spy, Daddy Day Care, Dr. Doolittle, and—shudder—Norbit. And now there’s Meet Dave.
Is it a terrible movie? I guess not. It’s just low-rent and half-hearted—you don't get the sense that anyone involved really tried all that hard.
The wacky premise—a group of bite-sized aliens come down to earth to retrieve an important orb in a space ship that can take human form (Murphy plays not only the captain of the ship, but the ship in human form) —should have given Murphy ample room to strut his stuff. He does have some fun with learning the human way of smiling and shaking hands—and then some more fun getting tangled in a turtleneck at Old Navy (the product...

11:42 am Comment Count Tags: film reviews
July, 2nd 2008

Hancock

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Rating: 2.5 stars

It’s such a great concept, you wonder why it hasn’t been done before: A superhero with a bad attitude, one who saves people, but does so reluctantly, who crash lands, leaves a costly mess, and performs his life-saving duties with a snarl. And for a while, Hancock pulls off this concept brilliantly.
For starters, Will Smith makes a great Hancock. This might’ve seemed like a stretch for Smith—an actor who at times seems desperate to be loved (and we, the movie going public, dutifully oblige). But Smith is actually spot-on as the heavy-drinking, anti-social hero. He makes Hancock both funny (because he’s so darn surly) and sad (because he’s misunderstood). And the director, Peter Berg, has a great way with a visual joke (sometimes it’s amusing to just see Hancock help a beached whale by hurling it into the ocean—and promptly capsize a small boat).
Early in the film, Hancock saves an idealistic PR specialist, Ray Embrey (Jason Bateman), from being struck by a train. But instead of applauding Hancock’s heroics, bystanders question his technique. (Might he have saved...

10:44 am Comment Count Tags: film reviews
June, 27th 2008

Wanted

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Rating: 3 stars

How do you solve a problem like Angelina Jolie? To me, she is one of the great movie stars of our time. Notice I didn’t say great actress—although she certainly is a better than average one—I said movie star. When she’s on screen, you can’t take your eyes off her—she's almost ridiculously sexy and magnetic. (Hey, I may be a female, but I’m not blind.)
So why, may you ask, is this a problem? Well, two reasons. For one, it’s hard to find the right role for her. This is partly her own fault, her do-goodism (and desire for another Oscar?) often leads her to well-intentioned but DOA films like A Mighty Heart and Beyond Borders. Superhero adventurer Lara Croft seemed like the right role, except both Tomb Raider movies sucked. Mr. and Mrs. Smith was pretty good (at least for the first half), but Brad Pitt couldn’t quite keep up with her.
Which leads to the other problem: The woman—and I don’t know how else to put this—is a maneater. Every actor she works opposite seems timid and emasculated in her presence, even a...

9:20 am Comment Count Tags: film reviews
June, 26th 2008

WALL-E

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Rating: 2.5 stars

Oh what a curious—and sometimes flat-out weird—movie WALL-E is. I have to admit, it took me a while to grasp its shades and rhythms—and even now I’m not sure if it’s a masterpiece or a miscue or both.
For starters, the beginning feels more like a horror film than a Pixar romp for kids. We hear a corny song from a musical—later it’s identified as “Put On Your Sunday Clothes” from Hello, Dolly—and then zero in on a post-apocalyptic earth. You see, waste has overrun the planet and all humans are exiled to space. Alone doing the clean up is the robot WALL-E (or Waste Allocation Load Lifter—Earth Class) and others of his kind. He looks a bit like a cross between Johnny Five, the robot in Short Circuit, and E.T.
But actually, the Spielberg film that WALL-E owes its biggest debt of gratitude to is AI. It was in that film that our boy robot finally got his wish of being human by simply being the most “human-like” robot of the future. Likewise, WALL-E, whose only friend is a cockroach (a nice joke, as earth is...

3:48 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
June, 24th 2008

Hard Times at Douglass High

hardtinmes_pic.jpg The experience of watching Hard Times at Douglass High is akin to that of walking into a very dark room that has a few slivers of sunlight peaking in. The documentary, filmed by Susan and Alan Raymond over the course of one school year in Baltimore and airing this month on HBO, doesn’t really tell you anything you don’t already know about inner city schools or the pressures of No Child Left Behind—it just manages to bring it into sharper focus. So we see students falling asleep in classes or not going to class at all (oddly, they come to school, but loiter in the hallway), being rude to teachers and administrators, fighting with each other in the hall (in one horrific scene, a muscle-bound boy starts beating on five girls who were flirtingly teasing him), and struggling with the most basic of assignments. We see teachers, mostly hard-working and committed, who don’t have text books, who beg their students to show up “just two days in a row,” who bemoan the fact that, on parent/teacher night, so few parents actually arrive. We see administrators forced to make grueling choices—pass kids who really...

11:54 am Comment Count Tags: Television
June, 19th 2008

The Love Guru

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Rating: 1.5 stars

Mike Myers is a funny guy. He made three awesomely funny Austin Powers movies (I’m partial to the second—when Mini Me was introduced and joined Dr. Evil in a rendition of Will Smith’s Just the Two of Us) and had several funny SNL sketches, even if some of his characters (I’m talking to you, Wayne!) went on beyond their expiration date.
The Love Guru, in which Myers plays a would-be Deepok Chopra hired by the owner of a hockey team (Jessica Alba) to help her star player (Romany Malco) get out of his funk, actually has some funny moments. The film starts, for example, with a Morgan Freeman voiceover, only to reveal that it’s just the Love Guru using a Morgan Freeman voiceover machine (hey, where can I get one of those?). Some jokes are at the expense of Myer’s miniature cohort Verne Troyer, here playing the team’s coach. (“I’d like to thank the Academy,” intones the Guru, lifting the little guy like a statue.) But for every funny joke in The Love Guru there are at least 10 stupendously bad ones. I’m talking poo jokes and crotch jokes and jokes about...

6:58 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
June, 19th 2008

Get Smart

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Rating: 2.5 stars

A conspicuously big budget and some game work by the leads elevates Get Smart from utter mediocrity to serviceable entertainment. But still, this update of the popular 60’s series never truly gains its footing. Is it an homage to the show? If so, they should’ve made Maxwell Smart (Steve Carell) more of a bumbling wannabe, as he was on the sitcom. (In this version, he’s more of a brainy nerd who’s good with a gun—he’s like Napoleon Dynamite if those numchuck skills actually came in handy). Is it a spoof of spy films? If so, get in line behind the superior Casino Royale, Austin Powers, Top Secret, et al. Still, the physical comedy can be quite funny—there are two stand-out set pieces (one involving darts in an airplane bathroom stall; the other a dance extravaganza at the home of a Russian warlord) and Anne Hathaway graduates from The Princess Diaries to believable sexpot as Agent 99. Even the Rock—now known exclusively as Dwayne Johnson, la di da—is funny as the alpha male spy who takes Max under his wing....

3:38 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
June, 12th 2008

The Happening

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Rating: 1.5 stars

Oh, the quandary of M Night Shyamalan. On the one hand, you’ve got to really admire a guy who relies on good old-fashioned storytelling and suspense—nary a CGI effect in this guy’s films—to get the job done. On the other hand, enough already.
It’s all been down hill since the ingenious Sixth Sense, a film so intimate, so tightly directed, it made most viewers ignore the painfully obvious (how many times did that damn kid have to tell us that “they don’t always know when they’re dead?”). What followed—Unbreakable—seemed like a sophomore slump. But then there was a junior slump (Signs), a senior slump (The Village), and a post-graduate slump (The Lady in the Water).
Indeed, with The Lady in the Water, it seemed that not just the critics, but the previously on-board movie viewing public were over Shyamalan. He relied on too many trick endings (increasingly easy to figure out), too much dime store mysticism, too many eye-rollingly contrived scenarios. And what’s more, his “legend in his own...

2:33 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
June, 12th 2008

The Incredible Hulk

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Rating: 2.5 stars

I’ll admit that Ang Lee’s Hulk, released in 2003, was a bit of a dud. It was overlong, overwrought, oddly joyless, and featured a drippy Bruce Banner played by Eric Bana. But still, it was, for all intents and purposes, an Incredible Hulk movie. The special effects were pretty cool. The Hulk was ginormous and green and hulky. If you were hooked on the comic book or the gloriously cheesy 70’s series, you would have probably seen it, and while you may have left the theater a bit disappointed, you certainly wouldn’t have thought, “I demand an immediate do over!!”
Apparently, the folks at Universal Pictures felt differently. So, five years later, they are trotting out a new The Incredible Hulk. (Ironically, the hipper title, Hulk, was taken by the first film.) In a surpising move, they went with another atypical action hero as the star—Columbia’s own Edward Norton. It goes without saying that Norton is a far better actor than Bana, but he’s still a less than obvious choice—we tend to associate him with brainy, art house type pictures, not...

2:25 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews