If you are a fan of HBO’s True Blood, with all its sex and blood and gothic kink, you realize just how, er, bloodless the Twilight series is. Of course, that makes sense—Twilight is a series aimed at 14-year-old girls. But that inhibition is particularly problematic in this installment of the movie, since it’s all about—how can I put this delicately?—rough vampire sex and gory childbirth. (Hey, don’t blame me. Blame Stephenie Meyer, who combines shmoopy teen romance with vampire freakiness like none other).
Director Bill Condon (Dreamgirls), certainly the most talented to helm the Twilight series, tries manfully to make all this work, with mixed results. When Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) consummate their love on their honeymoon, he shows Edward gripping the bed post tightly, then breaking it. Later, we see the aftermath of this session: Down feathers flying, bed frames broken, and Bella covered in bruises. Wow. That must’ve been intense! (Alas, we’ll never know. . .)
As for the child birth scene, there’s some blood, but not nearly enough. It’s more like “oh, that was kind of gross” as opposed to “holy mother of possible...




