May, 8th 2008

Speed Racer

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Rating: 1.5 stars

When I saw The Matrix for the first time, I was tempted to give it a one word review: “Cool.” With its fresh use of CGI martial arts effects, dense mythology, and, of course, those billowing leather coats, the movie was cool—and the Wachowski Brothers seemed like a major force to be reckoned with. Well, since then, there were two sequels to The Matrix and neither was particularly good—in fact, they so muddled and over-wrought, they actually made me rethink my enjoyment of the original. Never a good sign.
And then . . . bupkis.
It’s been five years since The Matrix: Revolutions and, except for writing V for Vendetta, a kitschy piece of pseudo-agit-prop, they brothers have been silent. Then I saw the trailer for the Wachowski’s new film, Speed Racer, and my first thought was, “Cool.” By creating a kaleidoscopic, lightening fast, live-action version of the beloved Japanese animé series, it seemed like the boys were ready to make another statement. Oh,  how I wish it were true.
Yup, from the very first frame the film is all...

4:32 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
May, 8th 2008

What Happens In Vegas

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Rating: 2 stars

It’s hard to muster up a whole lot of enthusiasm for What Happens in Vegas.  After all, any film about the battle of the sexes that breaks out the old “why must guys leave the toilet seat up?” chestnut (more than once no less) is inherently lazy. Why should I care when the filmmakers don’t?
Indeed, What Happens in Vegas is so by the book, it could practically have been generated by one of those screenwriting software programs. Come to think of it, they pretty much made this movie already—it was called How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Oh, and then they made it again—it was called The Break-up.
Here’s the premise: Jack (Ashton Kutcher) is such a slacker, he’s been fired from his job as a furniture maker by his own father. Overachieving Joy (Cameron Diaz) was just dumped by her fussy boyfriend. Both attempt to drown their sorrows in Vegas.
After a drunken night of debauchery that ends up with them in bed and married, Jack uses Joy’s quarter to play the slots and wins $3 million. A judge (Dennis Miller) freezes the...

4:20 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
May, 1st 2008

Iron Man

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Rating: 3.5 stars

There are very few super heroes you’d actually want to hang out with. I mean, Batman is all dark and gloomy, and Superman is a bit of a stiff, and Spiderman is way too angst-ridden. However, I’d hit the town with billionaire inventor and playboy Tony Stark, a.k.a Iron Man, anytime. You see, Tony Stark, as played brilliantly by Robert Downey Jr., is a hipster, he’s sexy, he’s resourceful—in short, he’s like one of the Ocean’s Eleven guys, if they were inclined to strap on an armored suit and kick some terrorist ass.
As the film begins, Stark, an arms manufacturer who took over the business from his daddy, is flippantly confident that he’s doing the patriotic thing. It’s only after he’s kidnapped by Afghan warlords who are using his weapons to kill innocent villagers, that he realizes his company is doing more harm than good. He escapes from his captors by creating an ersatz fighting and flying suit. When he gets back to his laboratory in the states, he sets out to perfect it.
Along for the ride are Gwyneth Paltrow in a doting Girl Friday role that is beneath her abilities...

1:53 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
May, 1st 2008

Made of Honor

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Rating: 2.5 stars

Once I got past the horrible pun in the title (and trust me, that took a Herculean effort), I had to admit that Made of Honor was a fairly breezy, proficient crowd pleaser. Is it going to make avowed chick flick bashers suddenly see the error of their ways? Hardly. But for fans of the genre, it goes down like Diet Coke—no nutrition, but tasty nonetheless.
Dr. McDreamy, er, Patrick Dempsey plays Tom, a ladies’ man who thinks he has the best of all worlds: Unencumbered sex with a variety of hot women and a deep friendship with his college pal Hannah (Michelle Monaghan.) Hannah goes to Scotland on a business trip for six weeks, and the commitment-phobic Tom comes to his senses, realizing that he’s in love with her.  Of course, she returns with a hunky Scotch fiancé in tow. This would all be almost painfully by-the-numbers were it not for a clever twist: Hannah asks Tom to be her maid-of-honor. Suddenly, he’s picking china patterns, and dealing with squabbling bridesmaids (one of whom is a jilted ex lover), while trying to secretly convince Hannah that he’s the one for...

1:51 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
April, 24th 2008

Baby Mama

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Rating:3]

Hope and Crosby. Abbott and Costello. Martin and Lewis. What do these comedy teams all have in common? Well, they’re all dudes, for one thing. In fact, I can’t think of a single all-female comedy duo for the ages. Until now.
Okay, so it may be a bit premature to suggest that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are the next Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon, but so far, these funny ladies are two-for-two. They were, of course, brilliant together on the set of SNL’s Weekend Update—the two smartest girls in the back of the class, cracking wise, throwing verbal spitballs, and making the boys swoon. And now they’re at it again in Baby Mama, playing an odd couple thrust together under unlikely circumstances.
Fey’s Kate Holbrook is an over-achieving VP at a natural food company. She is single, her biological clock is ticking, and a doctor has just blithely reported that he doesn’t like the looks of her uterus. So she hires Angie Ostrowiski (Poehler) as a surrogate mother to fertilize her eggs and bear her child.
Fey, very much to her credit, is playing Felix Unger here: She’s a little uptight, a...

12:17 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
April, 24th 2008

The Visitor

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Rating:3.5]

The director Thomas McCarthy clearly is interested in people who hold the world at arm’s length, who wallow in a convenient kind of misanthropy, and who are inexorably touched by a friendship with an unlikely stranger. His message sounds corny—heck, it’s a hair’s breath away from “people who need people are the luckiest people in the world”—but he manages to reveal it in surprising, touching ways. In The Station Agent, it was Fin McBride (Peter Dinklage), a lonely train fanatic, who was befriended by two wounded souls, the eager-to-please Bobby Cannavale and the sexy, but unhinged Patricia Clarkson.
In The Visitor, Richard Jenkins plays Walter Vale, an emotionally blunted university professor who is forced to attend a conference in New York, where he keeps an apartment. He is surprised to find a couple of illegal immigrants living in his home. At first, he kicks them out. Then realizing they have no place to go—and touched by their good manners and genuine contrition—he lets them stay with him. Zainab (Danai Gurira), the female half of the couple, who is West...

12:13 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
April, 24th 2008

Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay

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Rating:2.5]

Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle was really less of a stoner film and more of a clever sendup of cultural stereotypes (okay, and a stoner film). Throw in a now-legendary Neil Patrick Harris cameo, and you’ve got all the makings of a cult classic. (Indeed, while the film did middling box office, it cleaned up on DVD.)
Very much to the producers’ credit, they don’t stray far from the formula with the sequel, which has the boys being mistaken for terrorists and sent to (and escaping from) Guantanamo Bay, crashing a Klan rally, accompanying Neil Patrick Harris to a whorehouse, and talking daddy issues (and smoking some kind bud) with the Commander-in-Chief. John Choo and Kal Penn make for enormously likeable leads—and while some of the jokes fall flat (a fantasy sex sequence involving Kumar, a hot chick, and a giant bag of weed should’ve been filed under: “Bad ideas conceived while high”), many more hit their targets. What’s more, the film is slyly smart about racial profiling and the war on terror. A stoner film with a brain? Duuuuuuude.

12:10 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
April, 24th 2008

Deception

deception.jpgFull starFull star

A nerdy accountant (Ewan McGregor) is swept into a world of illicit sex and high-stakes intrigue by a charismatic stranger (Hugh Jackman). The film almost qualifies as a guilty pleasure—Hitchcock for Morons—until it completely derails in the final act. Just when there should be snappy “gotchas!” and satisfying confrontations, the film pauses for an unnecessary sex scene (yes, such things do exist) and lots of random images of flying birds. Anyone who has seen a suspense thriller before will figure out all the twists and turns, but it’s cheesy fun . . . for a while.

12:08 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
April, 17th 2008

88 Minutes

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Full starHalf star

It’s hard to say what’s more glaring: Al Pacino’s fake tan or the enormous plot holes in this inept thriller.
Pacino plays Jack Gramm, a cocksure forensic psychiatrist who specializes in the serial killers. The film starts with a bit of torture porn—a masked killer slowly slices up one scantily clad twin while the other watches in horror. Fast forward to Gramm taking the stand, confidently telling the court that they’ve got their killer, Jon Forster. Forster, of course, maintains his innocence. However, the fact that Forster is played by Neal McDonough, whose preternaturally pale blue eyes pretty much limit him to villainous roles, is one clue that the guy might be guilty. The next clue? When convicted, he smiles a malicious, bad-guy smile, turns to Gramm and says, “Tick tock, Doc.”
Now it’s nine years later, the eve of Forster’s execution, and Gramm gets a phone call on his cell: “Tick tock, Doc. You’ve got 88...

4:09 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews
April, 17th 2008

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

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Full starFull starFull starHalf star

I can’t deny it. I love the Judd Apatow comedy revolution. About six years ago, we had the emergence of the so-called Frat Pack, which includes the likes of Vince Vaughn, Will Ferrell, Owen Wilson, and Jack Black. Those guys are all funny, to be sure, but there is always a slightly mocking, detached quality to their hipster humor. One could easily see them holding court over a kegger, surrounded by appreciative jocks (hence the Frat Pack designation).
By contrast, Apatow, who famously helmed a show called Freaks and Geeks, is dealing with the real (male) misfits of our society—the awkward teenage boys, the video game slackers, the knobby-kneed, the virginal, and tongue-tied. He has planted an extremely rich comedy...

3:34 pm Comment Count Tags: film reviews