The proposal has been accepted. The wedding date has been set. And now comes the time to answer that big question. "Do you take this man?" It's a big decision, so think hard before you answer: Ladies, do you take this man you have only just started dating, as your plus-one to a wedding?
Luckily, I was able to sidestep that question last week. You see, my friends Christy Vasconcellos and BJ Pandit were getting married at the Potomac Point Winery in Virginia and, since it was a small wedding, I wasn't given the option of bringing a date. Of course, there were plenty of people there that I knew, so I was hardly going to be "riding solo" at any point. Better still, my good friend, Crystal, and I opted to do the girly thing and go as each other's "dates."
The wedding ceremony took place outside in the vineyard and was incredibly beautiful and romantic. As I looked at the bride and groom and the other couples attending the wedding, I couldn't help but think . . . that I was glad I hadn't brought a date. Okay, not a normal thought, but hear me out: A wedding is an event that epitomizes love and commitment. And currently, as we know, there is not someone in my life I have those feelings about. So to bring someone I only just started dating, I feel would be sending an incorrect message.
Now, of course, I'm not saying that taking a guy to a wedding means you are telling him you want to get married. But think about this: What if you are dating someone who is really into you? Look around at all this talk about love and being together and watching everyone slow dance. To me, it just seems to conjure up an image of the two of you potentially going down that road. And if that's not what you want, it can be bad news.
Now, conversely, to go to a wedding with no date or with a friend, you open your evening up to a ton of fun! Crystal and I laughed, we danced, we met new people, and we ate awesome food! (Props to Christy for being the only bride I have ever seen serve nachos at her wedding.) And there wasn't one moment of awkwardness or pressure. It was perfect. Hell, we even stopped at Taco Bell on the way to the wedding because somebody had a hangover! (Somebody = me). How can you top a date like that? Seriously though, I would much rather spend an evening out with a great friend who I can talk to all night and share the memories of our friend's wedding with, than be there with someone who probably doesn't know anyone else—including the bride and groom.
So gals, when it comes to going to a wedding, think hard about your plus-one. What do you want to add to your evening? If you are into the guy and you want the romance, then bring him. But if you are still not sure how you feel about the guy, go with a friend, like I did. Then, where you stand with each other is "Crystal" clear.
*This column is dedicated to Christiane Cullen and Greg Smith. Congratulations on your engagement!
