I rarely pay my bills on time. In fact, I even had my power turned off once. I don't make my bed in the morning because I am just going to get back in it when I get home. I am terrible at getting oil changes, even though I ruined my first truck that way. I do laundry maybe once a month because I have enough sheets, towels, and clothes to get away with it. I hate going to the grocery store so much that several times I have used napkins for toilet paper and fed my dog cat food. I can't ride a bike with the rest of the world, but don't really care because I can drive and walk. And I hate it when people touch my food.
Hardly a Match.com profile, I know. But that's just a brief look at the real me. Upfront and honest. As usual, you're probably thinking, "What's the point, Gina?" Well, it's simple. I know all the things about myself that are hardly marketable qualities. But what I don't know is why people feel the need to hide such things when they are dating. Yes, I get the idea that we all want to make a good impression. But what if that good impression is a false impression? When does the truth come out?
I have known many girls (and guys)— myself included—who have tried to be what they thought someone else wanted: faked liking football, pretended to adore the same music, even dressed a certain way. Well, while it's nice to attempt to find mutual interests and to look your best, are you doing it for you or for them? When does the real you get to come out?
Let's follow up on that football example. Say a girl starts dating a guy and says, "You love football? OMG, me too!" They spend a few months dating, going to games, and watching them on TV. She even buys some cute little jerseys to wear. But all the while, she still doesn't actually love football. Sure, she wants the Ravens to win, but—to borrow a phrase—she's "just not that into it." So a few months later, her birthday comes up and what does her boyfriend buy her? Football tickets and a new personalized Ravens jersey. Not the gorgeous watch she wanted that was exactly the same price. Nope, she basically gets the NFL fan package. And with this, she realizes she has two choices: Tell him the truth about her lack of football love or suck it up and risk that her engagement ring will look like a Super Bowl ring and her nuptials will take place on the 50-yard line of M&T Bank Stadium. Hard call, but it has to be made or she risks spending forever living a lie about herself.
Now, of course, liking football is just one small example to illustrate my point. In many relationships, the lies are something bigger like, "Yes, I want kids" or even, "No, I don't do drugs." And these will clearly become deal breakers at some point. As for me, I have heard the big lies before, and I've lived the football lie myself. And I am here to say, it never works. So now I am upfront about myself with everyone, as soon as possible. Because honestly, if someone doesn't want to date me because I don't make my bed, he doesn't belong in it anyway.
