Remember when you were younger and you touched a hot pan for the first time? Or ate so many sweets that you got sick to your stomach? Or even when you were in a rush to get somewhere and tripped and fell down? What did you learn from these actions? Not to repeat them, right? Then why the hell can’t we learn these lessons when it comes to love? Let me break down the parallels for you.
Hot Pan Guy. He’s the guy that you know is going to burn you, but you just take action without thinking and, of course, . . . get burned. The guy that tells you up front “I’m a jerk” or “I’m a terrible boyfriend.” And yet, even with all these warning signs, we still somehow end up reaching out with our vulnerable little hands (and hearts) and instead of feeling the heat of intense passion, we simply get left with the blisters of bad decisions.
Too Many Sweets Guy. The irresistible one. You can’t just have a little bit of him. Something about this sweet treat keeps you coming back for more and more and more. The problem is, you end up with a stomachache every time: when he doesn’t call; when he doesn’t text back; when you see another girl write something flirty on his Facebook page. That pukey feeling sets in. So, naturally, the answer is to forgo your cravings right? We should . . . but we don’t. Because those sweet little things he does, or his sugary grin pulls us back every time.
Trip and Fall Guy. You were in such a rush to find a man, you ran to the first one you saw, and fell . . . literally. Okay, well maybe you didn’t literally fall on the ground. But your desperate desire to be in a relationship put you on a path destined to trip you up. You aren’t watching what you are doing or where you are walking, and, therefore, you are guaranteed to stumble and fall.
I bet if you are like me, you have lived through each one of these scenarios. But here’s the thing: I only had to touch that hot stove once when I was a child. So why don’t the lessons stick now? I mean, how many times have I gotten out of a bad relationship and said, “Well, I am never doing that again”? Hint: Let’s just say that if I didn’t repeat my mistakes, I wouldn’t be writing on this topic.
I personally want to learn from my mistakes—in life and in love. I try to learn from others, too. But the sad news is, the heart is treacherous. It wants what it wants (sometimes, despite neon warning signs). So unless you want to end up with burnt hands, a stomachache, and a cracked skull, pay attention to what you are doing, and don’t repeat the same mistakes. Because trust me, you don’t want to meet Running with Scissors Guy.