So, last month was part one of my account of my deep-sea dive into online dating via the site Plenty of Fish. This month, I want to talk about the experiences I had with the guys I met on there and give a few tips on how to reel one in.
Firstly, I’m pretty sure most would agree that, for a woman dating online, it’s less like a sea of fish and more like a pack of sharks. My inbox was full on a daily basis with messages from guys. Now, you may be thinking, “Isn’t that good news?” And to that I say, it all depends on whether you want quantity or quality. Fifty messages that simply say “hi” is hardly driving me closer to my potential soulmate. Worse than the “hi” messages are the ones where you can tell that the guy simply cuts and pastes the same response for each girl he meets, telling her how impressed he was with her profile and how he is “new to this site and looking to meet some quality people.” Is there some site out there that guys can purchase this stuff from? Kind of like buying a term paper in college? It definitely seems like it.
What got me to respond to someone was a fresh approach. You noticed that I mentioned the National Aquarium as a favorite first-date activity? Ask me what I love about it. Or, better still, tell me what you love about it. Or you see that I like to laugh—so say something funny! It’s really no different than meeting someone in person except you now have more time to think about what you want to say. Use it!
Online dating is definitely not for everyone. You have to be able to handle guys getting angry—sometimes even firing off nasty messages—when you (politely) tell them you’re not interested. Then again, I’ve heard of women who are using fake pics to get the guy. I can’t fathom the thinking behind that because, clearly, the lie has to end at some point, right? Plus, don’t you want to find someone who likes you for who you are?
The handful of dates I went on from this site were disappointing. Mainly, they were guys looking for a good time, if you know what I mean. I did, however, meet some cool guys that I actually became friends with. I know many of you still view online dating as a desperate attempt to find someone, but I don’t think it is. Think of it more as a way to expand your vision of what’s out there. Plus, for someone looking to get back in the scene after a breakup, it’s great practice for your social and conversational skills. Trust me, there are good people on those sites. You just have to know the difference between a fish and a shark.