People always say dating is a game. And, to a degree, it is, with its calculated moves, defensive strategies, wins and losses, and, of course, all the fun. But while some are playing The Game of Life, or Risk, what I’m playing is more like a Rubik’s Cube. The type of guy I tend to like is fun to try and figure out, at first, but after a while, he just leaves you feeling stupid. And, at times, the game seems nearly impossible to win.
For instance, recently, I met a guy in a bar I frequent, and we hit it off immediately. Conversation was casual; nothing more than simple and friendly. But then, suddenly, many months after meeting, my view of him changed, and I felt an attraction. I quickly learned the attraction was mutual, so we exchanged numbers and began texting back and forth. Friendly chat turned to flirty, flirty turned to flirtier, and we eventually made plans to get together. Unfortunately, those plans got cancelled. No big deal, though; things come up. We rescheduled. Second plans . . . cancelled. Okay, now I was starting to think something wasn’t right. But every time we talked, he assured me that he wasn’t blowing me off and that he did, in fact, want to see me. Even so, I was done making plans until I knew he would keep them. (To give the guy the benefit of the doubt, he does have a pretty demanding schedule, so it’s possible this was all legit.)
Our text messages continued, and the level of flirtation increased. And while normally exchanges like this would leave me feeling excited and perhaps even a little bubbly in my tummy, this time I was just confused. What was his deal? But the better question was, why was I still waiting it out? I wasn’t even sure I wanted to be with him. I didn’t even really know him. At this point, it was more like we were sexy pen pals. But still, I couldn’t put the Rubik’s Cube down. I had to figure out this puzzle.
So what happened? More like . . . what is still happening? I still talk to the guy, and I still see him at that bar. And no, we haven’t rescheduled to meet up. Who knows if we ever will? So while I usually love to write about the lessons I have learned and save you from repeating my mistakes, it’s not always that easy. I can say this, though: A challenge to the mind can be just as treacherous as a challenge to the heart. I know we always want to think there is truly a reason everything happens, but maybe sometimes things just don’t fall into place in a clean and orderly fashion. Even with an actual Rubik’ s Cube, it takes just the right moves and a lot of patience to get it solved. But if you can’t take the waiting, there’s always Solitaire.